Meditation: An Eye-Opening Experience.

 "Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world."

- Hans Margolius -

In Neil Burger’s recent film Limitless, the protagonist Eddie Morra discovers a blackmarket drug known as NZT, which enables him to access 100 percent of his brain capacity as opposed to the mere 20 percent that is normally available to human beings. Eddie transforms from a hapless, dishevelled writer to a suave, super-intelligent businessman; essentially becoming a “perfect version” of himself. As he pops his first pill and its effects kick in, he describes his drug-induced shift in consciousness in one simple sentence: “I was blind, but now I see”.

This line resonates pretty deeply with me. I, too, have felt this kind of awakening. I know what it’s like to experience a newfound sense of clarity, as though a veil of fog has been lifted and I’m able to see clearly for the first time. I’ve never dabbled with a real-life equivalent of NZT (at least not that I know of) but rather the source of my heightened awareness has been meditation; "a practice of self-transformation through observing the breath and bodily sensations".

Meditation has always been a challenge for me to delineate, as it’s such a personal and subjective experience that I never really know how to define it. Still, when you discover something that's had an incalculable impact on your life, you can’t help but want to share it with others, hence I seldom shy away from speaking (or writing) about meditation in spite of how inarticulate I can be on the subject.

 
Learning to meditate has been the most significant turning point in my life, as it's led to the biggest changes, not merely to my emotional or psychological wellbeing but to my physical health as well. But the most striking change (or at least the one that I like to bang on about) has been to my mental acuity. My concentration has improved, my thoughts have become less fragmented, my memory is markedly sharper, and my sensory perceptions have become more vivid. Like Eddie Morra in Limitless, I've started to see things in a clearer way, both visually and intellectually, almost as though I’d been viewing the world through murky lenses all these years, readily assenting to a distorted version of reality.

I’ve always considered myself smart. I’m no Marilyn vos Savant, but I can generally solve any problem that I set my mind to. Plus I managed to survive - and actually enjoy - a philosophy degree for three years, and I figure that intelligence must have played some part in that (I hope). Nonetheless, I spent most of my university years plowing through frustration as I felt hindered by a mental fuzziness and inability to focus. I managed to meet deadlines and complete assignments, admittedly to a high standard most of the time, but it was often such a mental struggle that I was convinced I had ADHD or some sort of learning disorder. My gripe wasn't so much about the fact that I worked so damn hard but the inexorable feeling that I wasn't living up to my full potential. 

I felt "limited", until I discovered meditation. Analogising Eddie Morra’s radical transition in Limitless to my own personal transformation might seem somewhat hyperbole, as meditation hasn't suddenly granted me with superpowers and it hasn't morphed me into a "perfect" version of myself, but there's no denying that some massive changes have come about.

I started meditating about five years ago, however I haven’t been consistent in my practice, which often this leads people to speculate. Why would you think twice about meditating, let along put it off, if it has such positive effects? It’s a no-brainer I admit, but like everything in life that’s worth having, the practice of meditation doesn’t come easy. Unlike knocking back a pill, it requires self-effort and tenacity. Sitting still and attempting to quiet the mind is harder than you might think, in fact it can be a painstaking and arduous task, since you’re stepping out of your comforting zone, and doing something that runs contrary to what your familiar with.

Meditation is about settling the mind in the here and now, and that can feel unnatural at first since the mind is accustomed lingering in the past or glaring into the future; the present moment is an unfamiliar place. Besides, unlike NZT, the benefits that come from meditating are reaped over time; there isn't an immediate shift in one's mental state but rather the mind improves gradually. Hence why NZT would probably sell like hotcakes if it actually existed whereas meditation isn’t quite as appealing to the quick-fix mentality of our culture.

I’m often asked, “What has had the most positive impact on your well being?” Different things have benefited me in different ways and I never fail to mention this, but my answer always boils down to the same thing: meditation. 

Over the years I’ve attempted to write stories, scripts, poems, and articles in an endeavour to tell the world about this wonderful discovery of mine, but I perpetually struggle to muster up a piece of writing, or a sentence even, that's good enough. Whatever I create seems to miss the nail head and either trivialise or dramatise a practice that's shaped me into the (better) person that I am today, and the last thing I want to do is contribute to the mystique.

Perhaps one day I’ll manage to find the right words that encapsulate the indelible effect that meditation has had on me. Until then, the words of a fictional film character will suffice.